I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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