Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
