you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
