My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
