The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
