Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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