Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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