No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
