Fuck appropriateness.
she peed on how many people?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
