a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
