I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
