Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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