Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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