Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
