we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
