it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
