Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
