I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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