She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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