Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
