Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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