Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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