If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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