What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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