here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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