You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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