help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
