I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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