Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
