jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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