I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
