we need to drink 2009 down the drain
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
