He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
