i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
