threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
