dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
