Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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