a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
