I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
