Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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