He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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