I want to walk on stilts...naked
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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