I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
