Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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