he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
