The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
that's an acceptable place to lick
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
