I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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