We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
