ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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