Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
