my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
