I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
