a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize