How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
