don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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