is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
