Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
