toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
