I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
