So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
